I Miss The Days
I miss the days when I didn't get frustrated, angry, annoyed, or impatient with my son. It seems that somewhere right before he turned 3 I entered this yukky stage of parenting. One day it becomes clear our children are accountable for their choices, and they can make better choices and then the power struggles begin. I can't believe kids want to be independent sooo soon.
The routine is always the same 1. He asks for somethings, I say no (and almost always explain WHY) 2. He tries to bargain and negotiate to get what he wants, if I still say no, we almost always end up at 3 (although we sometimes skip it and go straight to 4). 3. He cries and starts using his whinny voice, I definitely stick to my guns here and on to 4. 4. He becomes angry and will even sometimes push me or hit me and I send him to his rooom to work out his feelings "Go to your room and when you're done crying I have something to tell you."
I let him cry and work out his feelings, I know emotions are challenging at this age (well, at every age). I almost always talk extensively with him explaining my choices and rules. Some days are better than others, but this is the usual cycle. I sure miss my two year old who would do what I asked, when I asked and not argue. He is very honest about the situation: me - "Declan, why don't you do what I ask you to do?" Declan - "Because I want to do what I want to do." This morning after this crappy cycle over his breakfast he says "My day is starting out good because I got what I wanted for breakfast." Choose your battles, right? Sometimes easier said then done.
This is normal and healthy for him, but definitely less fun for the parent. On the up side, when we aren't arguing, he is very loving and gives me lots of hugs and spontaneously tells me he loves me. He's also very polite and considerate: last night - "Mama, this dinner is delicious. Thank You!". So I know I'm doing a lot of things right.
Its just hard not to start yelling at him when I'm at the end of my rope. I was raised by a "yeller" and occasionally I just want to scream at him "GET IN THE CAR NOW!" "FOR THE 3RD TIME, YOU CANNOT HAVE CANDY FOR BREAKFAST" "STOP WHINING!" . So, not only am I completely worn out or at the end of my rope, but I have to fight with every bit of strength I have to be the kind of parent I want to be - always loving, even with discipline.
I miss the days when I didn't get frustrated, angry, annoyed, or impatient with my son. It seems that somewhere right before he turned 3 I entered this yukky stage of parenting. One day it becomes clear our children are accountable for their choices, and they can make better choices and then the power struggles begin. I can't believe kids want to be independent sooo soon.
The routine is always the same 1. He asks for somethings, I say no (and almost always explain WHY) 2. He tries to bargain and negotiate to get what he wants, if I still say no, we almost always end up at 3 (although we sometimes skip it and go straight to 4). 3. He cries and starts using his whinny voice, I definitely stick to my guns here and on to 4. 4. He becomes angry and will even sometimes push me or hit me and I send him to his rooom to work out his feelings "Go to your room and when you're done crying I have something to tell you."
I let him cry and work out his feelings, I know emotions are challenging at this age (well, at every age). I almost always talk extensively with him explaining my choices and rules. Some days are better than others, but this is the usual cycle. I sure miss my two year old who would do what I asked, when I asked and not argue. He is very honest about the situation: me - "Declan, why don't you do what I ask you to do?" Declan - "Because I want to do what I want to do." This morning after this crappy cycle over his breakfast he says "My day is starting out good because I got what I wanted for breakfast." Choose your battles, right? Sometimes easier said then done.
This is normal and healthy for him, but definitely less fun for the parent. On the up side, when we aren't arguing, he is very loving and gives me lots of hugs and spontaneously tells me he loves me. He's also very polite and considerate: last night - "Mama, this dinner is delicious. Thank You!". So I know I'm doing a lot of things right.
Its just hard not to start yelling at him when I'm at the end of my rope. I was raised by a "yeller" and occasionally I just want to scream at him "GET IN THE CAR NOW!" "FOR THE 3RD TIME, YOU CANNOT HAVE CANDY FOR BREAKFAST" "STOP WHINING!" . So, not only am I completely worn out or at the end of my rope, but I have to fight with every bit of strength I have to be the kind of parent I want to be - always loving, even with discipline.
posted by One Boys Mom at
9:52 AM
1 Comments:
I hear you on this one! Maybe it is more of a shock for those of us whose kids never went through the "terrible two's." It sucks hearing yourself say things to or use a tone you never thought you'd use with a child of your own. Ugh. At least the phases seem to pass. Our little guy has fewer and fewer "rough times" the closer we get to four. There is hope!
Good luck!
-D
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Dakota, at 2:53 PM
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