Be Warned, this is a little bit of a rant n' rave:

So, on Friday I had a 30 + minute conversation with my "X". That was BIG DEAL, prior to that we haven't talked for more than 5 minutes. The plan is that (hopefully) I'll be landing my first teaching position in September. We have lots to work out in regards to a new parenting plan. Although our current plan is still completely workable if I move, because I'll still be the same distance away from her, but we would only need to modify the drop-off location for visitation.

Let me pause to say I was actually VERY impressed with our ability to talk calmly and without much negative emotion for 30 MINUTES. I really didn't feel angry or defensive or anything during the call. I didn't like some things she said and told her so, but without anger. infact I told her "I really know she loves Declan and is very good with him and I truly appreciate that I have her for an X. I've met a lot of single Moms in the last 2 years and I feel very fortunate that she is so great with him and he goes to such a safe, loving place every other weekend." Really that's pretty much what I said. I'm so proud :) I really meant it by the way.

During the conversation, I pointed out that we really don't need a new plan until he starts Kindergarten; She wants a new plan this summer because "we interpret the current plan differently and we need to clarify it." I said "what?" I was feeling very confused. I was thinking what am I missing here, what is she talking about?!?!

This, folks, is the part we "interpret differently":

blah,blah,blah (petitioner gets 21 days of vacation with child each year) "the only requisite being that the petitioner must actually be off from work and on vacation in exercising her vacation time under the parenting plan."

She thinks that she should be able to exericse her vacation time with Declan even if she isn't on vacation?!?!?!

First, understand this is a little (O.K. a BIG) hot button issue with me. Why? First off, at our trial, she only asked for 14 days vacation a year, and the Judge gave her 21. Pretty annoying. (She gets 21 days vacation a year and she should have the option to spend all that time with her son) From an objective stand-point that actually kind of makes sense, but still annoying an weird since she asked for 14 days.

In the last TWO years, how many days of her 42 vacation days has she used? THREE. Yes, folks you heard me right 3 DAYS, of her SIX WEEKS.

My next point? We were together 9.5 years. How many vacations did WE take together (without going to visit her family, or going somewhere with her family?) 4 times, and two of those were in the same year, one being a weekend trip to Vegas. It was always kind of an issue with me that ALL her vacation had to be with her family. This was also a chronic problem in our relationship her family came first (and the cats). Don't get me wrong, if you family is out of state, take one week to visit family, but the other week should be with your NEW family. If family is sooo important, and she loves Declan so much...why isn't she taking vacation with her son?

O.K., she is planning of taking up to 2 weeks this July (during my Birthday!) to take him on vacation, back East because they are having a family reunion. She gets to show him off.

During our conversation, I also had to listen to her say "I love him every bit as much as you!" I couldn't stop myself I replied "I know you LOVE him, but I don't believe you could possibly love him as much as I do" I'm thinking - "I would have never had and affair and walked out on my family giving getting only SIX days a month with my son. You better believe I'd take every bit of vacation/ time I could with my son. I can't imagine planning and executing a vacation that didn't involve my wonderful son, what has she been doing on her vacations these last two years?
Trust me, she has taken some nice vacations -she makes 65 - 75 K a year and her girlfriend makes the same...

Back to the original topic, she did ask to have Declan for one week last summer. I said "NO" because she wasn't going to be on vacation to spend the time with him...but her Mom would watch him during the day while she worked (with the help of a babysitter?!?). She was ticked and said she doesn't have to be on vacation to use her vacation....

To tell me folks, how exactly do you think SHE is interpreting this clause?? :


blah,blah,blah (petitioner gets 21 days of vacation with child each year) "the only requisite being that the petitioner must actually be off from work and on vacation in exercising her vacation time under the parenting plan."


By the way, HER attorney added that wording, frankly I was surprised and pleased at the time.

O.K. that was a long rambling entry. I think as I've thought about it more, it's irritated me.