It's been so long

since my baby was a baby. I was cleaning house this weekend and found a photo of me holding him when he was just one day old. It seems like so long ago. Those first few weeks he cried and cried (well first few months really) I remember when he was about 2 weeks old he finally let me eat breakfast without holding him. It is weird now to think about that first year when EVERYTHING I did was about Declan, really. I don't think I even watched T.V. those first 6 months -I was just exhausted. The whole SAHM gig was pretty strange those first few months, just so unlike anything I had experienced before. Here is my memory of those first few months:

Sleep a little,
nurse,
sleep a little more,
nurse,
change a diaper,
dress the baby,
stare at the baby in amazement,
talk to baby in silly voice,
nurse,
change a diaper,
sing to the baby,
nurse,
stare at the baby,
rock the baby,
read to the baby,
nurse,
change a diaper,
stare at the baby, still in love with him,
cuddle baby,
sing to baby
nurse,
hold the baby while he naps,
try to put him down for nap,
soothe crying baby,
nurse,
try to put down sleeping baby,
AHHH baby goes to sleep in crib.
lay down and wonder when will the baby wake up
try to sleep but can't, after all the baby could be up in 45 minutes,
lay around feeling EXHAUSTED, wondering when I can sleep.
Check on the baby to be sure he is still breathing,
wonder when the baby is getting up
get the baby up,
nurse,
change a diaper,
kiss baby,
cuddle baby,
sing to baby,
just stare at baby -amazed and in love.

Do you get the picture? It was wonderful, but what a new way to live after 20 years of working! Anyway I can't believe that my baby is growing up, I'm glad he is only 4!