What ever happened to....

ethics, doing the right thing, being responsible. What happened to the person who told me "I'll never pay the 'minimum'." (regarding child support for Declan)

I'm in paperwork / court / "X" Hell.

All day trying to get paperwork finalized to file with the court. Emailing my X, reading her crappy rants.

Get this, in two weeks my X will receive work bonuses of about 18K - that's more than I'll make this year, even if I get a contracted teaching job in the fall. She's refusing to willingly claim any of it as income for child support purposes (Which she is suppose to by law).

Disgust.

Still a little disbelief (I'm ashamed to admit that I still expect better after 2.5 years of the same crap).


Here is an excerpt from her most recent email:

START QUOTE:
"My income is certainly different than yours. That comes from doing what it takes to get and keep well paid employment. We both know that you have the intelligence and skills to be making more than you are. Yeah, well my priorities are different now. I want a job that affords me TIME with my son.

I have been trying for weeks to devise a reasonable plan that you might accept. I don't think such a plan exists unless you would like to continue with the plan we already have by withdrawling your motion. You are asking me to cover your shortfal (My "Shortfall"???)because of your part-time (Will not believe that I work full-time!!! via FOUR different jobs!! ) work schedule by increasing my payment to you every month. It has nothing to do with meeting the needs of our son."

END QUOTE

Hi, me again. So...I don't think that I'm asking he to cover any shortfall...I'm asking her to pay what is fricken LEGALLY due me. Her salary is 18k MORE than it was 2 years ago when we did our support order. Her bonuses are 3x larger than they were!!! I assume that the reason child support increases with income increasing isn't about basic needs, it's about increasing the life style of your child as your own life style increases.

What do I do with my $$$ ? Take my kiddo to Disneyland. What does the X do with her $$? Take the new girlfriend on a two week trip to Italy. Hummmmm.

Back to my pile of paperwork.

Chatter

Thought I'd just post some of the things Declan has said lately.

Last night we had a discussion about "rating" things. He likes to talk about who he loves 1st, 2nd etc. I tell him you can love people equally, but he likes to put them in order. I talked with him about not sharing that information because it can hurt peoples feelings. He said:

Declan; "But I do love Granny more than Poppa"

Me: "Why?"

Declan (thinking hard) "Because Poppa tries to make me eat 'White Man' food"

Me: (what the heck) "What do you mean?"

Declan: "Like...he cuts the crust off my bread in the morning. I love the crust."

FYI - the whole 'White Man' thing comes from my Dad talking about teaching Declan an 'old Indian trick' to which Declan always replies "Poppa you're not even Indian. I'm the Indian!" Declan knows his grandpa is the 'white man' while his Granny, Mama and himself have indian blood.


Today in the car on the way to work:

Declan "Did you know that the brain is your best weapon?"

(He says he learned that from Bionicles)


The following is a conversation (maybe not a conversation, as I only heard Declan chattering on and on) he just had with Theryn, one of the kids I babysit:

"The only important thing is family.

Think about food. They use their money to buy us food.

Some things are about God, and some things are about parents. They are the most important things. They are both equal, that means the same. Parents are equal to God, we both love them the same."

I love the way he defined "equal" in the middle of his rant. Maybe he is a born teacher :)

My Weekend

I figured it was time to finish the stairway. Make it a little safer. I actually only meant to add a bit of railing to the top. Then decided to add railing to the landing and lower stair. Things just kept evolving. I even did a little painting tonight, I was dying to see what it would look like.

Declan came home on Sunday and proclaimed "I can tell Poppa's been working!" I corrected him "No, Mama has been working."

I also have to point out that I only took about 3 measurements during the whole project. I'm all about approximation and using the "eyeball method" of measurement. I told my Dad that, just to watch him cringe :)

My Valentine

Declan was SOOO happy with the valentine I made for him (blue with yellow hearts in the photo) that he immediately went to the fridge and wrote "I Love You Mama" and drew a heart. So wonderful and sweet. Also cool that he was SOOO happy with my little artwork. On the way up to bed last night he said it was the "Best day ever!"

(More below)

Glow in the Dark Paint $3.49

Palette and Brushes: $4.99

Wooden Stars: $1.99

Laying in bed gazing at the glowing stars with your 4 year old: Priceless

"Hussle Up"

last night:

Declan: (calling from upstairs) "Mom, I've just been sitting up here waiting."

Me: "For what?"

Declan: "I'm tired. I'm ready to go to bed and read and snuggle. I'm still waiting for you, so hussle up."

Me: "What?"

Declan: (in his sweet pleading voice) "I'm tired. Hussle Up"

It is so cute (sometimes) to hear the things they pick up. I think I'll often say "Let's hussle." or "Hussle up" I've just never heard him say it before.

Also a few nights ago, he fell asleep at 6pm. SIX P.M. !!! Unheard of in my house. A couple of hours later I heard him yell from upstairs "Mama! Mama!" I go to the top of the stairs and ask if he is O.K. Declan replies "I love you" That was it, nothing else for the night.

Kids can melt your heart so easily. Speaking of hearts...just what kind of holiday is Valentines Day anyway?? For all those of you who are partnered up, enjoy the day :) For the rest of us, just another day...

Lazy Sunday

And more fun projects. We added a letter wall (the damage on the wall is unfinished construction). It will be helpful as he writes more. He is still learning what the small letters look like.

We made this sign today. It points the way to his Playroom / Bedroom. How do you like that big smile!
Finally added stars to his ceiling. These are some cool wooden stars that we painted and then stuck to the wall. Another fun day with art :)

Happenings

This was my surprise when I returned home from work on Friday :)

Some of today's activities.

My proud boy!

Meet Grayson

She is the latest addition to our family. Declan wanted a Hampster, but after reading up...I told him I didn't want him to have a pet that would bit. I've had rats a couple of times previously, once you get past the whole "rat" thing, they are really great pets.

Moe is very fascinated.

What do I do...

On the weekend when my son is gone? Invite some pre-teen girls over to hang out. My niece was going to stay the night with my parents, and I tutor my cousins daughter. I decided to turn it into a get together. The 3rd girl is my friends daughter.

Declan and our neighbor Hayden, enjoying a sunny winter day.

Declan is one happy boy now that he's back in soccer. He says it is his very favorite thing!