The Journey: September 2006

another week down and random thoughts

I can't believe how time flies... I had a good job on Friday. High School Math. Kids were great, but I was amazed at their inability to do a VERY simple assignment -won't bore you with the details.

My sweet boy is gone for the weekend :( Cute story:

Earlier this week I wanted a nap and Declan just won't hardly nap anymore. He said he would play with his Bionicles on the bed while I took a short nap. he then proceeded to tuck me in and then rubbed my back to help me fall asleep. I thought it was sooo sweet. After a minute or two he leans in a puts his forehead to mine and starts singing to me. He sang a lullaby that I've sang to him since I was 8 months pregnant, called "Mama loves Declan" Yeah, a cheesy song I made up.

About being Tagged:

Casey tagged me and I'm suppose to write 5 weird things about myself. The truth is that this is a particularly tough assignment because I think most things about me are a little weird. I do not think or act in a mainstream fashion, without being very deliberate aobut it.

I also think I may have a "date" later today. That should be interesting.

More updates to come.

Did I forget to mention...

That my "X" (you remember, the one who just bought the Lake House) is going to Italy in a couple of weeks. Declan said she told him that she would take him "next time". I guess taking a 4 year old to Europe might cramp your style.

I don't get it. Okay well I do. Anyway I guess when you make 200K on the sale of a home which you owned for only 2 years, ya gotta do something special for yourself.

Of course still no word on any adjustment in child support. She did tell me again today that I should consider moving to her neighboring town, which would increase my cost of living dramatically. I said it would be much more practical for her to relocate to be near Declan. She said and I quote "I have ties here too, you know."

Call me crazy, but most Mothers would consider the ties they have with their child to be the strongest. But then again what she denies, but what I can clearly see, is that she isn't REALLY his Mother.

Okay I just get annoyed when I talk about my X and her self righteous, better than me and anyone I know attitude...

Now keep reading to hear about the wonderful day I had even though I'm still a little under the weather.

Awesome Day in the Subbing World or Bill Nye is a Science God!

Today was a great day; I actually taught students!!! I subbed in a 6th grade science class. I was getting so tired of all the High School jobs. The kids were, by in large, great and so tiny. Just tiny versions of all those High Schoolers I've been around lately.

I did end my day by escorting two students to the Asst. Principals office. I couldn't get the whole story straight, but basically they were picking on each other using racial slurs.

I was also amazed to see just how much kids love Bill Nye (The Science Guy). All classes were 80 minutes long and after our reading and discussions the kids watched a 20 minute segment of Bill Nye. Silent. Glued to their seats. Laughing constantly ( in an appropriate context).

Good day. Then I picked my son up at my parents and promptly went to the Y to go swimming. Fun, fun, fun.

Sick Day, hooray!

We had a really fun "Sick Day" today. Which turned out to be more of a "Bionicle Day". More on that tomorrow. I'm just trying to get a little down time before bed (checking out the new show "Heroes"). I soooo do not want to work tomorrow. It is very challenging to get up in the morning when you can just chose to cancel your job with a click of the mouse. Must work. Need Money!

P.S. I don't know what is up with the formatting of this page?!?!

Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video SharingI thought summer was over?! And now we have the Melt Down at the end of the day. Yes, I am a little obsessed with this new video technology, I even video tapped my son telling me I broke his heart -all over.

Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing

This was a very calm point in the break down. Declan was VERY upset because there wasn't enough time left to watch the Bionicle movie AND play with the Bionicles.

Declan: "It's not fair! I can't ever do what I want to do!" (sobbing)

Declan: "You broke my heart Mama. All over"

We are both sick and didn't get a good nights sleep last night; he woke me up every hour last night - seriously it was pretty horrible. I've cancelled my job for tomorrow and we're going to have a sick day.

By the way, to play the videos you should just be able to click two times on the play button and it should play in the window in the blog.

Morning Playtime

Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing
I didn't know that Bionicles and Dinosaurs were friends. Apparently they work together to defeat all Bad Guys. Guess what? The new Happy Meal toys are Bionicles....I suppose we'll be eating a lot of happy meals in the coming weeks - YUK.

Just another Saturday

This is how I like my life -busy and full.

Lots of fun today. Declan is having a buddy sleepover, and we also had some other friends over for dinner and play. To my surprise we were treated to one last day of summer.

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Ending the evening with a good story: Green Eggs and Ham. Remember the wonderful new toy I bought? Read to Me DVD? The boys loved it. It also has some great "games" that check for comprehension. Just what I needed at the end of the day...a little help.

I have some great stories, I'll post again tomorrow.

"You're ridiculous!"

Kind of typical day in the world of substitute teaching. The local school I've been at these past two days has several security guards. It is very handy for obnoxious kids. Today I had to have 3 students removed from my class. I'm actually pretty surprised that none of them went willingly. Most of the time kids will argue, but by the time you tell them they need to go to the office, they go. These kids just flat out told me they wouldn't leave the classroom.

My general policy is to ask a student to change their behavior 2 or 3 times, then I tell them to move to another seat. All three kids, in two different classes, refused to move to another seat. I'm not sure how other subs handle rude, obnoxious students. I kick them out of class.

The good news is that my skin is getting thicker. I use to want to reason with the kids, and I always took their bad attitudes so personal. My blood pressure remained stable the entire day today. Even as one cocky kid was being escorted out, he felt the need to turn to me and say "You're ridiculous!" How WILL these kids survive in the real world?

Is that who I think it is??

Today I subbed at a local high school. While killing time I was looking at photos of staff on the wall. I was surprised to find a photo of my 11th grade English teacher on the wall. His title? Principal. I noticed that 'Jim Jones' wasn't the current Principal so I inquired as to his where abouts. I discovered that he was just hired at an Assistant Superintendent in a another local district.

I was surprised to see that he had moved along so nicely in his career. Here are a few memories I have of Jim Jones - English Teacher:

A) His was a first or second year teacher when I had him. He was the classic guys guy who coached many sports and sat reading a paper most of the class peri0d. I actually have no memory of him really teaching anything. Then again that was 22 years ago. He is the only teacher in my high school career that I remember thinking that he was actually a "bad" teacher. Even at 16 I thought "why in the heck is my ENGLISH teacher having us watch movies of classic books and then writing reports? Shouldn't reading be a part of an English curriculum?" I recall seeing a lot of videos in his class. He was definitely a nice guy, but I remember thinking that as an educator, that he was pretty lame. Basically I would say he seemed very unmotivated.

B) By the end of the year, rumors abounded that he was dating one of the girls he coached. Rumors can be just that rumors...but I heard that he was legitimately dating this same girl once she graduated. The last I heard they were married. That was WAY before the name Mary Kay meant anything.

Now I'm curious and I'm going to try and find out the name of his wife....Anyway, it was just pretty surprising. I just didn't see him as the ambitious type, or as any type of leader. People change I suppose. Then again, $$$ is always a good motivator.

The Season is Here!

I just had to share my excitement for the coming weeks. I can't believe this is my 5th Halloween with Delcan. I've always had such good times during this season. I have great memories of pumpkin patches and books. Lots of books! He loves the Halloween stories, it seems like we read endlessly this time of year.

Can you believe his head was almost as big as that pumpkin? And I want to give a shout out to VJ, someone who loves fall as much as me :) - You can comment some day you know ;)

Another Day in the Subbing World

I forgot to post about my job on Friday. I subbed at a high school. The job was a breeze and the kids were amazingly good. I find that teaching "elective" classes is wonderful because the kids really want to be there.

However, I have never been to such an uptight school. I was immediately handed a list of "Rules" for subs. I'm all for clarifying things and having them nicely laid out, but the tone seemed a little unfriendly. Then I go to the staff bathroom and find the following sign on the door.

We appreciate a clean bathroom.
Please, if you make a mess clean
it up. This includes those little
pieces of paper towel and toilet paper.

I actually copied the sign word for word. Somebody on staff is REALLY uptight. I was amazed at the specific and concise wording of the sign.

Later in the day I went in and there was a bit of toilet tissue on the floor by the dispenser. I certainly wasn't going to pick it up, but I was hoping that no one was waiting when I left the bathroom, because I was sure I'd get the blame.

Today I subbed in a 1st grade class. It was VERY boring. There was a student teacher, so there was nothing for me to do. However, I couldn't read a book or do anything interesting incase she needed my help. Long day. But the staff was GREAT, including the student teacher. I also ran into someone from my masters co-hort.

I'm off for one final camping trip. Back on Thursday.

Declan spent the weekend with the X, some interesting conversations on the way home.

Declan: "why do you do terrible things to me?"

Me: "What 'Terrible' things do I do?"

Declan "Well....you give me consequences...."

We then talk about how I try to teach him about how the world works, that's my job. In life there are consequences for our actions...

Later, while listening to PlayRadioPlay on the way home he explains music to me:

Declan: "I know how songs work. You use your imagination. You imagine the picture in you head while you listen to the music. Like I imagine that the bird is blue. That's how it works."

Me: "Wow, that's right. How did you learn that?" (I figured it must have been a topic of conversation over the weekend. But no, I guess not.)

Declan: "I just figured it out. It's easy. Songs don't have pictures like books, so that's how it works. I just figured it out."

Weird to think that he thinks about things like that..

Meet Moe-Ka-Moe -

The newest addition to our family. Our old fish - Declan is no longer with us. We went camping last week and came back to find our fish tank lid off and DeclanFish was nowhere to be found. (Moe must have had an extra special treat that weekend) DeclanBoy cried for about 10 seconds and quickly asked if we could get a new fish.

I must say that Moe-Ka-Moe is far more interesting than DeclanFish. He is multi-colored and loves to eat so I find him more entertaining. If you couldn't tell, Declan names our pets :)

On the subbing Front- had a pretty good day today. I did send one boy to the office. He was talking and refused to move to a new seat when asked. He chose to argue with me. I then sent him to the office. At the conclusion of that interaction, I had the following conversation with his buddy who was sitting next to him:

Buddy's hand goes in the air. I hesitantly walk over to his desk, knowing full well what Buddy wants to talk about.

Buddy: "You know, Subs NEVER send students out of class for that kind of behavior."

Me: "Well, I guess I'm not an 'ordinary' sub"

Buddy: "Well, that doesn't seem fair, I think it's.."

Me: (cutting buddy off, speaking with no emotion) "If you have an issue with the way I'm managing the class you are welcome to go talk to the Principal about it. I'm done discussing it."

I then walked away.

The class was WONDERFUL for the remaining 50 minutes. My motto as a teacher is DO NOT ENGAGE. The kids want to argue in circles for the entire class period, been there, done that. Not going there again, thanks.

D: "I know who gets to go to Heaven"

Me: "Oh." (Kind of half listening)

D: "Angels and Jesus and God."

Me: "And every person who believes in God will go to Heaven too."

D: (Thinks seriously for a bit) "Why only people who believe in God get to go to Heaven?"

Me: No answer. I immediately go to my computer to transcribe this conversation...so I could get it down word for word. Frankly, I don't know how to answer that question. I've always wondered about that myself. Do ALL Christians, Jews (Marla), Catholics (Nicole) ect... go to Heaven EVEN the "Bad" ones. Do all the really good people who haven't embraced God really go to Hell. Is this NORMAL to have a four year old already asking this question?! I don't answer, because I'm stumped AND busy typing.

Declan continues.

D: "Do you know God is the ruler of Kings?"

Me: Just listening and typing

D: "Do you know how Kings work? God tells the King and then he tells another King and they all tell each other."

Me: "Oh" (I have to acknowledge the kid)

D: "Why does Mom (my X, his other mom) say she believes in Budda when her doesn't believe in Religion? Why does she say 'Namaste, Budda.' ??

Me: "Well, because _____ (her girlfriend) believes in Budda. She wants you to know about other religions."

D: "Why does she want me to believe what SHE believes"

Me: "I think she is just afraid of you believing something she doesn't believe."

D: "Well I believe in EVERY religion, even no religion."

Me: "Oh, O.K."

Thankfully the conversation ends. However I'm pretty freaked out. I worry that Declan is feeling torn by this whole religion thing. I don't know where it's coming from. I haven't taken him to church in...months. Which I do feel bad about, since he is gone everyother weekend I want to get him into a Wednesday night program. I do want that to be a consistent part of his life. We pray at meals, sometimes. I talk about God, but not extensively. Mostly to answer questions and say "That's the way go made Giraffes, with really long necks.."

My X recently talked with me about the religion thing, she is worried that my Mom is pushing it onto Declan too much (not that I can see). This has me wondering how much SHE (my X) talks to him about religion.

Clearly Declan thinks about God a lot.

At bedtime I told him that no two people think exactly alike, and that no two people believe the exact same thing about God and religion. I said "I don't believe the exact same thing as granny or Poppa, you and I won't believe the same thing about religion." He acted distressed and said "I want to believe what you believe." UGH!! I was trying to make him feel better. I said that no two people agree on EVERYTHING or thought the same way. I said that it was O.K. to believe different things and that he would have to decide for himself what he believed (pretty much what I've always said about religion among other things). I've always told him that he will need to decide things for himself, that he makes his own choices. Realistically I believe as a parent that we can only force limited behavior on our kids, they still decide, and then get punished or rewarded for that behavior. Even in parenting control is a bit of an illusion..

Anyway. This sucks and I'm sad that Declan is conflicted.

By the way. Two days ago in the car, out of the blue he says:

"Mom, is the reason you control me so that I'll be a good Daddy someday?"

I ask what he means by "Control"

He replies "when to get up in the morning..."

I told him that sometimes I tell him what he needs to do because we have responsiblities like getting to work on time. Other times I tell him what to do, like he can only have one cookie, because I'm trying to help him make good choices.

This morning while riding in the car with his friends 4 and 6 (who were baffled by the following conversation) Declan did some serious thinking about Heaven. Meaning I think my son definitely questions things a bit beyond the normal kiddo of his age. I am starting to worry about what our conversations will be like when he is 12.

(At least religiously, as that is a slippery issue. I remember having lots of questions about God, Heaven, Hell etc as a kid. I suppose I still do, I just chose to believe which is really all any of us does -right?)

Setting: Riding in the car of the family I do childcare for, listening to kids christian music. Current song is "You can't get to Heaven". The kiddos sing "You can't get to heaven in a rocking chair. A rocking chair won't get you there. Oh you can't get to heaven in a limousine ,cause the lord don't have no gasoline" (you get the idea, silly kid song)

This in itself was odd for Declan as I've never played kids' music of any kind for him (does that make me a bad mother?) Currently we're listening to PlayRadioPlay. Delcan LOVES this music, especially the songs Compliment Each Other and At This Particular Moment in Time. (infact as I was looking up this link and song, Declan heard it and came running toward the computer singing) :

PlayRadioPlay

ON WITH THE STORY

Declan : "You can use a Rocket Ship to fly to Heaven, right Mom!"

Me: "Well...no."

Declan: "Why not?"

Zachary (the 6 year old): "Declan you're so silly, rocking chairs can't fly."

Me: "He said Rocket Ship Zachary."

Zachary "Oh" ( Zachary then tunes out, not interested at all in the conversation that unfolds.)

Me: "Well Declan, only God can take you to heaven."

Declan: "Hummm. (pause) Heaven isn't farther out than space is it?"

Me: "Yes."

Thinking intently while his friends sing along to the music.

Declan: "How come Jesus could go to Heaven?"

Me: "Well, Jesus and God are the same person...(yes i did go off on a fairly complex issue here)"

More singing, more thinking

Declan: "Well, how far up is space?"

Me: "I don't know Declan. I don't know if anybody knows."

This kid is toooo much like me.

Back to the PlayRadioPlay thing...you should check out this music. It's pretty good, I think he has an amazing voice and the whole "band" is just a 16 year old kid named Daniel. You can download his songs for free if you like it. I discovered this music on my nephews MySpace site.

On the way to work this morning my son sang me a song:

"Oh we live on Earth,
The Earth is our planet.
Earth is the only planet,
That has all the stuff we need.

The Earth is our planet,
It's the only one we can live on,
In our Galaxy..." (and he went on and on similarly)

I don't get where that came from. It's so interesting to hear what kids think about. We do talk about planets, especially since the sad demise of Pluto as our 9th planet. You might remember that Pluto has a special place in our hearts:
Our Story of PLUTO
But we haven't talked about planets at all in the last few days...

Also, a bit of bragging to follow.

While camping last week, I was playing BrainQuest with Declan. I had found a set of 1st grade cards at a garage sale and I was curious about how many of the questions he could answer. Most surprising was his correct answer to the following question (and honestly, I couldn't have answered the question correctly before my 8th grade science student teaching stint)

Q: Which star is closest to the planet Earth?
A: The Sun

He really does retain so much information; they really are sponges!

Today I was in substitute teacher Hell.

I had to show middle schoolers 3 different movies today, back to back! And wait it gets worse....I actually had to WATCH these movies (which I believe were "family" films made by the Mormon church - boring - but nothing against Mormons). I also had to take notes on the films and answer the questions that the students were answering. It was the longest 6 hours.

I am a pretty intelligent person and I couldn't answer 1/2 of the questions about the first movie. I can't imagine what those 7th graders thought.

I still have a headache.

As Summer comes to an end, I'm thankful to have had so many fun adventures with my boy.

It's funny, I'm excited to be working again, but sad that he'll go back to daycare....I'm just lucky we have so much time in the summer :) I'm definitely feeling good about my career choice these days!

First day of subbing-

Went well, watched a bunch of teenage boys put together their fantasy football teams. I subbed in a marketing class. I'm not sure what fantasy football has to do with marketing, but I don't know much about marketing....

"Who made the first person?"

That was the first thing Declan said yesterday morning. He has asked that question previously. I just thought it was odd that it was the first thing on his mind. What he really wants to know is who made God. He asked that before and I started to explain about Adam and he said "No, I mean the FIRST person."

"Do you mean God?" I replied

"Yeah, who made God?" He asked.

What a question. I mean, I wonder the same thing, but I just don't think about it. Declan is very analytical...well maybe just curious. I see a reflection so often these days.

At breakfast later he was just deep in thought. I love getting into people's heads, so I ask "What are you thinking about?"

"Disneyland" he replies.

He is going to be sooo excited when we arrive at the airport this December. (He doesn't know about our next Disneyland trip) Did I mentioned I had booked another trip? Taking advantage of the ability to travel in the "Off Season" before I'm stuck going with all the other kids on their school breaks.

Hayden:

Hayden is the boy on the left. He is our neighbor. I could not ask for a better neighbor for Declan. He is the best kid! We're soooo lucky to have such a great kiddo living close. If we are outside, and Hayden sees us, he screams "Hi Declan!" The above photo was taken a couple of weeks ago, right after Declan's "Haircut". To give you some perspective, this is a photo of Declan and Hayden 2 years ago when we moved here ....
I can't believe that they are almost the same height (poor Declan).