The Problem

With the "Crush" guy... was less dramatic than any of you probably imagined (sorry). He did NOT want to date / get involved with a woman who had a child where there was 'shared custody' involved. He doesn't want to "share his family". It could be a longer story, and it brings up a lot of other issues and feeling for me, but I don't feel like putting all the effort into writing about it. I am really O.K. with it, I was only bummed for about 12 hours. I think we're going to be friends, we're still in communication -as much as Christy doesn't approve ;)

Sorry to leave some of you hanging, but now you know the rest of the story.

Don't Despair Blogger Friends

I still have one date on Saturday...just not with the guy I had a little crush on. Maybe you'll still get some good stories out of the deal.  As for giving a play by play or summary of what happened with the "Crush Guy"...I may get to it when I have time to write an adequate post about it.

The Haircut

Today I went to get my haircut. The following conversation took place just as I was finished getting it cut.

Declan: (in a soft voice) "Mama I have something to tell you."



Me: (leaning in) "Yes?"



Declan: "You look beautiful."



He looked so serious as he said it. My heart melted. There is no place I'd Rather be, and nothing I'd rather do than to be Declan's Mom.



Also amazing progress on our house today, pictures will be posted at a later date. I think we'll be moving upstairs in a week. SOOOO COOL!





Those with a keen eye have probably noticed I've erased the last weeks worth of blog entries..I'm also working on erasing it from my mind. Enough said.

Gasped.

 

Trying saying that word out loud.  It is a REALLY hard word to say.  Or maybe I have  a speech issue.

Show me the Money! (and celebrity connections)

I'm currently working as a substitute in 3 different districts. The district I've worked at the past five days is my "hometown "district, the one I would love to get a job in. One district pays 112 a day, the other pays 95 per day, but I didn't know until today what my "hometown" district pays. And when I found out (from an HR person on the phone) I had some sort of audible reaction which I can't quite recall due to my shock. I think I either gasped or said "Wow, really??" My hometown district pays a meager 90 per day. That is only to first year subs. AFTER you have subbed 30 days, then THE NEXT YEAR you will earn 130 per day. So their daily rates are outrageously high and outrageously low. Unfortunately I am on the low end of the spectrum. I was just shocked. That is 22 dollars less PER DAY then the other district, which is really just as close to my house. AND I can work everyday in the other district if I want.

I guess I'll be working 30 days in my home town district this year...not one day more. (well -maybe if a teacher who is a friend calls me). After all, I may still be subbing next year and I'll need the 40 d0llar pay bump.

Either way, it is very tough to make a living as a sub. You can only work MAYBE 8 months out of the year. Won't be paying on those student loans this year.

As for teaching in my hometown....I'm always finding out that a student is the child of so and so who I went to school with. Today I had my X-boyfriends son in my class (I told him to tell his Dad "Hi" which probably made his Dad uncomfortable). One of my good friends daughter was suppose to be in my class but she was home sick (I was in her parents wedding). Yesterday I had a girl in my classroom whose father was in my graduating class, and my boyfriend in the 5th grade. My brother is currently friends with her mom (divorced parents). The most interesting thing is that her uncle (whose last name she shares) is pretty darn famous. Sports. How horrible to have that name. Maybe all the kids are use to it I don't know. I asked her about her Dad and Mom, but didn't say a thing about her uncle (who by the way was also my boyfriend for a brief moment in 5th grade) I'm sure she was pleasantly surprised that I didn't mention him.

I also had a boy who is like 6ft 6 (freshman) in my class yesterday and during roll, I discovered that I had the 'parent connection'. I graduated with his father and use to have occasional sleepovers at his mothers house. In fact, I vividly remember hooking his parents up on one of my sleepovers (I remember due to the shockingly vivid sexual phone call they had that evening) Here is this child to show for it. He seems like a really great kid, but his parents divorced. All the connections are just weird.

Another Transcript

The Bionicle OBSESSION among other things was putting me over the edge on the way home from Kung Fu. The following conversation ensued:

Me: "Really Declan, I'm feeling pretty cranky tonight. I need you to listen to me."

Declan: "Well, you're making ME cranky too."

Me: (NOT using a sarcastic voice, but my matter of fact / I have an idea voice) "Ok, well maybe when we get home tonight I should go in the living room to watch T.V. and you should go into your bedroom and play Bionicles and we can just spend the evening without talking to each other. "

Declan: (begins laughing HYSTERICALLY) "Oh Mama, you're soooo funny."

I love him to death, but I was serious. As a single parent sometimes it would be nice to just check out for an evening...of course I lost that desire upon hearing his reaction to the whole thing :)

Also a contributing factor is that he seems to have inherited the "Talking" gene. I remember hearing my whole childhood that I talked too much. Now I get it, I REALLY get it.

It's still

ALL Bionicles, ALL the time.

Also, has anyone heard of this little news story involving Madonna's adoption of a boy named David? Apparently the BIG DEAL is that it appears she used her WEALTH to facilitate the adoption, which is illegal or immoral or irrelevant (something like that). Everyone is just SHOCKED, utterly and completely shocked and disgusted. Apparently this sort of thing has never occurred before; people using their great wealth to bypass, circumvent or simply pay off the "powers that be", and manipulate a better outcome for their selves then say...The Average Joe. Lets crucify her. Wait - didn't she already do that herself??

First Halloween Party 2006

Profit

So, I see that Nintendo Wii Pre-orders are selling on Ebay for 2X what I paid for it....Tempting to sell it now. Wonder what it will be worth as launch gets closer.

I forgot to mention

one of the highlights of my day yesterday. At the end of my first block class, the kids were up talking to me. I look at the board after they left and they had written "Ms. X Rools", "Ms. X is Cool" ect. It made me smile. Teaching is a profession where you get that kind of affirmation almost daily (in addition to the "Ms. X sucks" attitude or comments).

Also an update on Kung Fu. To my surprise the Sensi brought out sparring gloves the last ten minutes of class. He then paired up the kids and let them spar, ending with a group sparring match with all 8 kids. Wow, I was surprised to see that in a class with 4 year olds, much less on the 4th day of class. Declan LOVED it of course. (pictures to come)

So far I'm a little disappointed with the level of instruction. The Sensi will just say "Horse Stance", and expects the kids to get it. He doesn't say: this is a horse stance, your hands go here, your legs do this. He really expects that they will just mimmick him. I think I'm a little type A about those kinds of things... (then again I'm only paying 22 a month for classes through our parks dept, vs. 80 bucks at a local business)




I'm off to wait in line at my local Gamestop. The last time I did this it was with two good friends - shout out to Robert and Tara :)

Day 5

with the 6th graders. I love them as much as I did on day 1, except for "Jake" the interesting rock-star kid. I'm sure in any other setting I'd love him, but frankly he takes up waaaaay too much of my time. Now I'm just annoyed at his constant desire for individual attention. I'll be back with the same class on Monday. I'm starting to feel like a regular staff member.

Nintendo Wii. Pre-orders are tomorrow. I'm going to give it a shot. I know, I acknowledge that seems crazy to some of you. I'll just leave it at that :)


Declan is watching H.R. Pufnstuf and I'm going to watch "The Nine". I forgot to TiVO it last night. Good thing all the networks are letting you watch their shows for FREE online (O.K. well at least ABC is). Interesting new show..check it out if you have time.

They like me!

I just finished up my 4th day with a 6th grade class. I talked with the Principal a bit this morning and then the secretary called and asked if I could sub for them on Thursday (in the same class). Another sub was scheduled, but they called and cancelled. It is good for the kids to have consistency. I was suppose to sub at the High School, but this is much better.

I'd love to work at this school, so I need to sub as much as possible for them. I also have a job tomorrow at the same middle school where I did my student teaching; that will be fun. It looks like I'll be getting more and more middle school jobs, which is great.

As for Jake, the interesting student, turns out he is lead guitarist for a band. I don't think many 11 year olds are in rock bands.

I picked Declan up at school today and was prepared to go right to Kung Fu. He didn't want to go. I asked him why. He said "Because I don't want to go to school or Kung Fu Mamma, I just want to spend time with you." Is he smart or what? Meaning he is already VERY good at manipulation...

It's been so long

since my baby was a baby. I was cleaning house this weekend and found a photo of me holding him when he was just one day old. It seems like so long ago. Those first few weeks he cried and cried (well first few months really) I remember when he was about 2 weeks old he finally let me eat breakfast without holding him. It is weird now to think about that first year when EVERYTHING I did was about Declan, really. I don't think I even watched T.V. those first 6 months -I was just exhausted. The whole SAHM gig was pretty strange those first few months, just so unlike anything I had experienced before. Here is my memory of those first few months:

Sleep a little,
nurse,
sleep a little more,
nurse,
change a diaper,
dress the baby,
stare at the baby in amazement,
talk to baby in silly voice,
nurse,
change a diaper,
sing to the baby,
nurse,
stare at the baby,
rock the baby,
read to the baby,
nurse,
change a diaper,
stare at the baby, still in love with him,
cuddle baby,
sing to baby
nurse,
hold the baby while he naps,
try to put him down for nap,
soothe crying baby,
nurse,
try to put down sleeping baby,
AHHH baby goes to sleep in crib.
lay down and wonder when will the baby wake up
try to sleep but can't, after all the baby could be up in 45 minutes,
lay around feeling EXHAUSTED, wondering when I can sleep.
Check on the baby to be sure he is still breathing,
wonder when the baby is getting up
get the baby up,
nurse,
change a diaper,
kiss baby,
cuddle baby,
sing to baby,
just stare at baby -amazed and in love.

Do you get the picture? It was wonderful, but what a new way to live after 20 years of working! Anyway I can't believe that my baby is growing up, I'm glad he is only 4!

Sixth Graders Rock

I've had the best job the last 2 days. 6th grade. Kids that age are pretty fun to teach. Of course there is a still a knuckle-head or two, but funny and sweet by in large.

There was this one kid who I'll call Jake that is very interesting. He is hard to figure out and seems much older than his peers. He acts like a high schooler, but in a good way. He is a pretty smart kid, but always off task and VERY social. Always needs more clarification for assignments, can NEVER go right to work. He literally swaggers around the class room, even dancing freely. Weird. I've never seen so much natural confidence in a kid so young. He wears AC/DC and Metallica shirts. His mom works for the city and his Dad works for a big computer firm. He is an only child. On his way to the bathroom this A.M. he told me "Peace Out, Girl Scout".

I will sub in this class for 2 more days, it is wonderful to have a long assignment with one class.

Declan is gone for the weekend and I'm going to try to organize and clean. I hate my house right now. Dad is working upstairs daily and it looks like we might be moving up towards the end of the month.

Kung Fu Kid

Our first week of Kung Fu. He loves it. What boy wouldn't love punching and kicking and screaming at the top of his lungs?!

Look What Came in the Mail Today!!

The shirt, not the boy! (Ebay 10.50!)

A day on 'Declan Time'

I am working on something these days in hopes of feeling more at peace with myself now that I'm a working Mom: I am trying to be aware of when I am on "Mama Time" vs. "Declan Time". I am the kind of person who is ALWAYS in a hurry, even if I'm grocery shopping. I pretty much have two speeds: full throttle or stop. All you Mothers know - full throttle DOES NOT work with a child.

For the first 19 months of Declan's life I was ALWAYS on "Declan Time". I was going through life in first gear. Moving along, very slowing, taking everything in. I suddenly became a single parent and I reverted back to the old me. Hurry up and move, hurry up and get a degree, hurry up and.... well, just hurry. I spend too much time worrying, planning and working for the future. The Journey. The Journey! What about The Journey?

I know that there are times when I MUST be on "Mama Time" to pay the bills and get us fed, ect. But TOO, TOO often I could live my life on "Declan Time", crusin' along in 1st gear gettin' it done, enjoying the ride.

I'm trying to be aware, EVERY day, of when I CAN can live my life on "Declan Time". It has, after all, been the best time of my life.


So today, all day, is a "Declan Time" day. No schedule, no place to be. Nothing HAS to get done, I can just enjoy the view.

That didn't go so well..

I met my X, and introduced my cousin, who simply handed my X the packet and said "This is for you."


My X acted very cool and collected. She replied "Oh, I'm being served."

Weird, I guess she expected it. She must have no problem spending thousands to litigate every little thing. We are 1/2 hour down the road and she calls. Apparently she just finished reading the paperwork and is unhappy that I'm doing a change of venue. She says I can't do that.... anyway I'm sure she is taking the day off to see an attorney.

If she can make the change of venue difficult or expensive for me, she will. I was going to file the paperwork on Wednesday, but I'm taking the day off tomorrow and I'll take care of it. I can't imagine that it will make a difference if I file on Monday or Wednesday, but just in case...

Then I was pulled over for speeding. 86 in a 70. Declan was fascinated. Five minutes later Declan asks to call my X.

Me: "Why?"

Declan: "Oh, I just need to talk to her about something."

I dial and hand him the phone...knowing what might be in store, but I can't tell him "no" about calling her.

Declan: "Hi Mom, Guess What?" "Momma just got pulled over by the police. She was speeding. She didn't go to jail. He wrote her a ticket...."

My cousin and I were laughing, it was pretty funny.

And how was YOUR evening?

Five "weird" Things or "I've been tagged!"

1. This is how I like my eggs cooked. I know it looks even worse because of the photo (believe me, it would look better on a green or blue plate). I like lots of cheese on my eggs an then I cook and cook and cook. I like that chewy/crunchy texture.

2. I have an issue with fingernails. Unless they are painted and pedicured I like them SHORT. Whenever I babysit for kids, or Declan has a sleepover, I check out the kids nails and usually cut them.

3. I hover. Yes, I am a "hoverer" when using public toilets. I learned this from my mother. I remember the day it started. I was shopping with my mom and I went to the bathroom. I saw the following writing on the walls:

It won't help
if you stand on the seat,
because the California crabs,
can jump TEN feet.

I was confused (as any 8 year old would be) I proceeded to ask my Mom, much to her embarrassment, as we were shopping. Once she explained it, my days of sitting were OVER!




















4 & 5 will come later..

THE DATE:

At starbucks was O.K. He seemed like a nice guy. When I showed up, he was waiting with coffee and I wondered if that was good or bad (Vs. letting me order) Once I set down and took a sip I remembered what had happened to Catherine Willows in the last two episodes of CSI...I was a little nervous and didn't drink much more coffee. He did seem nice, his world seems to revolve around his son (as much a it can), but we'll see. He emailed me and wants to get together again, I'll keep you updated. At this point there is still a lot to learn ...

Off to get my boy...and my cousin is coming along to discreately serve my X with a court summons (more on that to come).